I don't think i have ever prayed as much as i did this weekend

for God...

Why me? I asked you to help me through everything in my life at the moment but every time I ask, you throw something else back at me. I'm stressed, i'm tired, i'm confused, i feel like crap about myself and you throw this at me? Well thank you for that. You said you'd be there. You said you're always there. But I can't see you at all. Things aren't getting better, they aren't even staying the same, they're getting worse. Where are you?
R - relationships. My best friend can't see my pain. Or at least doesn't want to say anything. I know you're there when I talk to her about important things, but I can't do that at the moment because I feel like its not fair on her
I - ideas. Well i seem to be lacking in the "brilliant ideas" department at the moment so i guess thats a no as well
G - Gifts. Where is my Gift? What have I got that makes me stand out from the rest? That makes me who I am? Yeah I can listen to people. Thats good for them isn't it? What about when i want to talk?
H - Hope. It says here "never think God has forgotten you". Well I'm trying not to think it, but I don't really know what else to do at the moment.

T - Thoughts. I don't know how to turn my thoughts to you when it feels like you've left me standing on the edge of a cliff

Do you have something against me? what did i do?

Everyone is telling me to pray about it, but it hasn't helped :'(