This is the story of a girl,
Who cried a river and drowned the whole world!
And while she looked so sad in photographs,
I absolutely love her,
When she smiles...

How many days in a year?
She woke up with hope but she only found tears.
And I can be so insincere,
Making her promises never for real!
As long as she stands there waiting,
Wearing the holes in the soles of her shoes!
How many days disappear?
When you look in the mirror so how do you choose?
Your clothes never wear as well the next day,
And your hair never falls in quite the same way-
But you never seem to run out of things to say...

THIS IS THE STORY OF A GIRL,
WHO CRIED A RIVER AND DROWNED THE WHOLE WORLD!
AND WHILE SHE LOOKED SO SAD IN PHOTOGRAPHS,
I ABSOLUTELY LOVE HER,
WHEN SHE SMILES...

How many lovers would stay?
Just to put of with this shit day after day!
How did we wind up this way?
Watching our mouths for the words that we say.
As long as we stand here waiting,
Wearing the clothes of the souls that we choose!
How do we get there today?
When we're walking to far for the price of our shoes!
Your clothes never wear as well the next day,
And your hair never falls in quite the same way-
But you never seem to run out of things to say!...

THIS IS THE STORY OF A GIRL,
WHO CRIED A RIVER AND DROWNED THE WHOLE WORLD!
AND WHILE SHE LOOKED SO SAD IN PHOTOGRAPHS,
I ABSOLUTELY LOVE HER,
WHEN SHE SMILES...

Your clothes never wear as well the next day,
And your hair never falls in quite the same way-
But you never seem to run out of things to say...
This is the story of a girl,
Who cried a river and drowned the whole world!
And while she looks so sad in photographs,
I absolutely love her-

This is the story of a girl;
Her pretty face she hid from the world!
And while she looks so sad and lonely there,
I absolutely love her,
When she smiles...

This is the story of a - girl!
Who cried a river and drowned the whole world!
And while she looks so sad in photographs,
I absolutely love her,
When she smiles...
When she smiles
.

I wish someone would say this to me.
I wish YOU would say this to me

I wish i had more close friends :/

Parachute... to go, or not to go...

This is it. Last NCEA exam ever... Where the heck did 13 years of schooling go?

I can remember all my teachers, is that weird? Except some kindy ones...

Parkway Kindy - Carol, Jo and someone else

Petone Kindy - Leigh and some others that i can't remember

New Entrance Hutt Central School Room 8 - Ms Oliver (She was awesome!)

Year 1 Room 7 - Miss Still and Mrs McGuiness

Year 2 Room 7 - Miss Still and Mrs McGuiness (They were both really cool)

Year 3 Room 1 - Miss Wilson

First half of Year 4 Room 1 - Miss Wilson (A lot of double ups here!)

Second half Year 4 Room 18 Silverstream School - Mrs Raxworthy (interesting memories there!)

Year 5 Room 16 - Ms McKay (bumped into her the other day and she still remembered me)

Year 6 Room 15 -Mrs Maitland

Fergusson Year 7 Room 14 - Mr Webb

Year 8 Room 7 - Miss Collins

UHC Year 9

Form Teacher - Mr Kendon

English -Mr potts (ugh)

Maths - Miss Liu

PE - Miss udy

Health - mr schaeffer

SST - mrs cook

science - miss savage(mrs kitt)

Graphics - mr jameson

Textiles - miss heartly-smith (man she was a cow)

ICT - miss bojivic

history - mr hurd

Year 10

Form teacher - miss finnegan

english - mrs chalmers

maths - mr beckett and ms de lautour

pe - mr schaeffer

health - mr schaeffer

Sst - mrs maiava

science - mrs joon

ict - mr curry

textiles - ms williamson

year 11

form - miss finnegan

english - ms taylor

maths - mr wooding and mr papa (oh what a year)

science - miss brown

history - mr hurd

ict - ms yourokova

economics - mr green

year 12

form -mr wilson

english - mr potts

maths - mr gurney

bio - miss brown

chem - miss laing

computing - mr curry

eco - mr green

year 13

form - mr wilson

english - mr martin

stats - mrs hall and miss sy

calc - ms finnegan

bio - mrs kitt

chem - miss laing

ha. i did it

Just breathe Jess...

The Baptist churches have no official policy regarding who may receive Communion. Each individual church is autonomous and sets its own policy. Some churches restrict Communion to members of that specific church; some open Communion to anybaptized Christian; some open it to anyone present. Some Southern Baptist churches limit Communion to baptized Southern Baptists. Most ministers place the decision about whether to receive Communion in the hearts and minds of those present.

you make me so sad sometimes...

Oh! The Places You’ll Go!
by the incomparable Dr. Seuss

Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You’re off to Great Places!
You’re off and away!

You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where to go.

You’ll look up and down streets. Look’em over with care. About some you will say, “I don’t choose to go there.” With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet, you’re too smart to go down a not-so-good street.

And you may not find any you’ll want to go down. In that case, of course, you’ll head straight out of town. It’s opener there in the wide open air.

Out there things can happen and frequently do to people as brainy and footsy as you.

And when things start to happen, don’t worry. Don’t stew. Just go right along. You’ll start happening too.

Oh! The Places You’ll Go!

You’ll be on your way up!
You’ll be seeing great sights!
You’ll join the high fliers who soar to high heights.

You won’t lag behind, because you’ll have the speed. You’ll pass the whole gang and you’ll soon take the lead. Wherever you fly, you’ll be best of the best. Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.

Except when you don’t.
Because, sometimes, you won’t.

I’m sorry to say so but, sadly, it’s true that Bang-ups and Hang-ups can happen to you.

You can get all hung up in a prickle-ly perch. And your gang will fly on. You’ll be left in a Lurch.

You’ll come down from the Lurch with an unpleasant bump. And the chances are, then, that you’ll be in a Slump.

And when you’re in a Slump, you’re not in for much fun. Un-slumping yourself is not easily done.

You will come to a place where the streets are not marked. Some windows are lighted. But mostly they’re darked. A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin! Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in? How much can you lose? How much can you win?

And if you go in, should you turn left or right…or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite? Or go around back and sneak in from behind? Simple it’s not, I’m afraid you will find, for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.

You can get so confused that you’ll start in to race down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space, headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.

The Waiting Place…for people just waiting.

Waiting for a train to go or a bus to come, or a plane to go or the mail to come, or the rain to go or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow or waiting around for a Yes or No or waiting for their hair to grow. Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite or waiting for wind to fly a kite or waiting around for Friday night or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake or a pot to boil, or a Better Break or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants or a wig with curls, or Another Chance. Everyone is just waiting.

No! That’s not for you!
Somehow you’ll escape all that waiting and staying. You’ll find the bright places where Boom Bands are playing. With banner flip-flapping, once more you’ll ride high! Ready for anything under the sky. Ready because you’re that kind of a guy!

Oh, the places you’ll go! There is fun to be done! There are points to be scored. There are games to be won. And the magical things you can do with that ball will make you the winning-est winner of all. Fame! You’ll be famous as famous can be, with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.

Except when they don’t. Because, sometimes, they won’t.

I’m afraid that some times you’ll play lonely games too. Games you can’t win ‘cause you’ll play against you.

All Alone!
Whether you like it or not, Alone will be something you’ll be quite a lot.

And when you’re alone, there’s a very good chance you’ll meet things that scare you right out of your pants. There are some, down the road between hither and yon, that can scare you so much you won’t want to go on.

But on you will go though the weather be foul. On you will go though your enemies prowl. On you will go though the Hakken-Kraks howl. Onward up many a frightening creek, though your arms may get sore and your sneakers may leak. On and on you will hike. And I know you’ll hike far and face up to your problems whatever they are.

You’ll get mixed up, of course, as you already know. You’ll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go. So be sure when you step. Step with care and great tact and remember that Life’s a Great Balancing Act. Just never forget to be dexterous and deft. And never mix up your right foot with your left.

And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and ¾ percent guaranteed.)

Kid, you’ll move mountains!
So…be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray or Mordecai Ale Van Allen O’Shea, you’re off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So…get on your way!

“Growing up is never easy. You hold on to things that were. You wonder what's to come. But that night, I think we knew it was time to let go of what had been, and look ahead to what would be. Other days. New days. Days to come. The thing is, we didn't have to hate each other for getting older. We just had to forgive ourselves... for growing up.”

Its obviously not fine, but unfortunately you're the only one I can talk to about it and you wont hang around for an extra 5 minutes to talk to me. Staying up late to talk to guys is higher up your priority list than staying up late to talk to me. I'm not angry or annoyed, i'm just hurt. It makes me want to cry

I really want to talk to you about how this has affected me. I know it has affected you hugely but its kinda had a big impact on some decisions i need to make. it would be nice to talk about it...

I wanted to talk to you today, but I didn't want to intrude or interrupt your life. How crap is that? Thats not how its supposed to be

i'm terrified

Just because i've "found God" as you put it, doesn't mean that i don't have crap days where i don't know what's wrong

I think i just need a hug

If you went, would you call? Would you text every chance you got like i did?

I check grabaseat everyday for you. Not for me. For both of you.

I know its not exactly an easy friendship, but i'm trying so hard here to make an effort. I know you both get along much better than we do, but I'm still here as well. I just wish that you could both see how hard this is for me, and acknowledge that. It feels like i can't make jokes about anything without having it be taken wrong or offending someone. I know the road to the future isn't easy, but its easier with a friend who doesn't push you back down. I just get the feeling that it would be better if i just didnt mention anything hamilton related. Only problem is, they were my other family. I've never felt so loved by a friends family. Thats not something i can give up easily

That awkward moment when you realise you dont actually have that many friends... :/

The amount of times I stay up for other people is too many to count. The amount of times i make sure they're ok, all while suffering from lack of sleep. But i dont care, because i'd rather make sure my friends are ok. But when i need someone to stay up and text me till some ridiculous hour, either just because they want to keep me company or get to know me better coz they like me for who i am, or because i'm not really coping, there's no one. Its been happening for ages, but what do i do about it? nothing. Common sense tells me to stop doing it for them, but i can't do that because it breaks my heart to see my friends falling apart at the seams, and even if i can only listen to them, i know it helps. But instead i'm here. Typing all this into my blog, because no one is going to reply to my texts

what did i do? How come i keep pushing everyone away?

I miss you and I don't even know who you are

Things that are scaring and worrying me

Failing stats on monday

Freaking out when I get to my bio exam

Not having enough money

Losing the girl who was once one of my best friends

Not knowing what to say to help my best friend

Watching people struggling and not knowing what to do to help them

Not being able to pass chemistry

Being treated like i'm still five next year

Starting uni

Spending 3 days in Hamilton with my best friend and a girl who isn't speaking to me atm

Catching the train to wellington everyday (i hate train stations)

Seeing everyone move away next year

Losing touch with good friends

Being in the middle of making the hugest decision of my life

Losing my best guy mate coz he keeps making stupid comments

My twin

My family not having much money

Making stupid comments that may ruin my friendships

Never meeting a guy that i'm comfortable with

Sleep walking

Some things are "best friends only" ok?

Best friends tell each other more than the probably should sometimes, but thats just the way we are

Sometimes they have inside jokes.

Thats where they should stay. Inside

"well you're obviously Christian, you just don't want to admit it"

Ignoring me and not wanting to actually have a conversation when i need you, does not give you the right to make comments like that. Make up your mind

Sometimes I wish someone would stay up late to talk to me, and help me through things, and help me to sort out my head. Someone to tell me it'll all be ok

no one left to talk to

Person A: I can't talk to you because I feel like I'm dumping my problems on you when you've got enough of your own to deal with. Even though I have an amazing capacity to listen if you need it

Person B: I can't talk to you because its still teetering on not quite being ok yet and I don't feel comfortable telling you my issues because we'll end up back where we started

Person C: I can't talk to you because you don't actually listen. You ask something and then walk off. You send a message and then log off. You text and don't reply. So I don't know what I'm meant to do.

Person D: I can't talk to you because I feel like you have too much else going on and my problems seem trivial compared to yours

Person E: I can't talk to you because by the time i've found the words, you've stopped listening

Person F: I can't talk you you because you've changed lately. You make me feel like a little kid who should be "seen and not heard". It sucks

Person G: I can't talk to you because you seem to have gone into "pretending i don't exist" mode. I can't even ask how your course is

Person H: I can't talk to you because now you've got what you want from me, you're obviously too cool to acknowledge my existence.

Who does that leave me to talk to? No one that knows enough about me for me to feel confident enough to tell them whats going on in my head. No one who wouldn't laugh. No one who it wouldn't feel awkward telling these things.

I know the future is right around the corner and our friends will not be the same ones we made in the last 5 years, but It shouldn't be like this. I shouldn't have to hold everything in to protect everyone else

You say its a crock, and that its brainwashing, but you know what, i'd rather have the comfort of that than the alternative. At least they don't swear at me.

The end of the first chapter in our lives, but the beginning of a new one!

Ok so I guess since everyone else is doing this, I will too! Where to begin....

Hannah: Oh Hannah, wise woman of the forest! I remember exactly when I first met you! I was sitting in the AV room (where we sit now actually!), freaking out about whether i had bought the right maths book, Mr Potts at the front of the class and sitting next to JT, who i only really knew by sight. You walked in and went "hey i don't know anyone, can i sit here?" or words to that effect! And we said sure! Just like kindy, the 3 of us were friends straight way! We had to trace around our hands and then write things about ourselves! Anyway, thank you for the past 5 years. It has been full of ups and downs and grudges and hatred. But mostly full of fun. We've all grown up and now the little things dont matter anymore! I've loved our Harry Potter conversations, and reading twilight BEFORE it became cool, i've loved our notes passing in English. You're one amazing girl and I'm proud to call you my ditzy friend! Good luck for next year, and if you don't keep in touch, well..... I know where you live :p

Brigette: Well its been a few years since i met you way back in year 8. Hanging out with you and Rosy and Katy, not to mention all the drama that came with it! Oh to be 13 again! We've also had our ups and downs, but hey, who hasn't? Its been awesome to see you go from the slightly frustrating (no offence!) person you were at intermediate to the cool, calm and collected (!! I'm so cool!) chick you are now. I've enjoyed having you in our group this year and you've definitely earned the title of My New World Buddy! All the best for the future and I hope we stay in touch!

Bradley: Year 4 huh? Long time ago! I'll always remember year 6 camp and our little awesome group that we had! You've been an amazing friend to me over the years and I can't thank you enough for the late night text conversations that kept me sane. English and stats this year have been awesome, even if you haven't sat directly next to me. Sometimes it made english worth going to, to see what you would end up saying! Good luck for the future, i'm sure i'll see you at Vic. Get out there and meet an awesome girl, we know you're capable of that. Get married and have a million kids, dont ask me to babysit! You're one awesome guy and i hope we stay in touch

Leanne: nearly 10 years i believe! The last couple of years have been amazing, from our good times in eco last year to many many biology lessons filled with your wisdom! A couple of great balls thrown in the middle and one crazy boyfriend of yours! We haven't been close close before but it was a few weeks ago that I realised you're actually a pretty good person to talk to when I'm upset. You helped me realise a few things that i hadn't before. I love your sense of fashion! If you go to vic next year I hope to see you there, otherwise good luck for wherever you end up! All the best for the future and I know that one day you'll make an awesome teacher!

JT: Jessica Marie. My twin. How much we have in common scares me. Ooo same middle name, ooo goes to guides... ooo has a neighbour called thomas... ooo likes their neighbour... ooo goes to rangers... IT FREAKS ME OUT WOMAN!!!!!!!! hahahahahaha!!!! You're one amazing girl. You're smart, you're awesome at cycling, you get me into the movies for free! Need I say more?? thank you so much for being there for me through everything. You have a heart of gold, and don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise. I know that one day you'll find the perfect guy and he'll treat you like the princess you deserve to be. Good luck at Pax lodge. You will have the time of your life. I expect skype to be up and running! Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the

life you've imagined. - Henry David Thoreau

Sara: Sarah. You will always be Sarah with an H i'm sorry! hahahaha! I've loved our times in

english this year. I hope that everything goes well for you in the future and we must stay in

touch!

Kimberly: My OMP. Its only been 3 short years that I've known you but it feels like a lifetime (in

a good way!) From Maths with Mr Wooding listening to the cricket,to Mr papa and his

words of wisdom! From History with Mr Hurd and JT to the most amazing year of biology I could

have ever asked for! Miss Brown and all her quirks. Osmosis and our little dances, our inside

jokes, the opening of our Inconvenient spot, our wednesdays watching Jeremy Kyle and eating

pies!. I know you haven't been here this past year but Class of 2011 wouldn't have been the

same without you. I'm so grateful that you are a part of my life. You've opened me to a whole new

world, after patiently sitting there and nodding along while i tried to convince you that you were

wrong about God. I can't thank you enough for everything that you have done for me, so I'm

thanking God as well. That fine thread must have been made of gold for it to hang on as long as it

did without breaking. So here's to the future, whatever it brings. We've got through one year, I

think we're big enough and ugly enough to get through some more! I expect to see headlines in

ten years time saying "Kimberly McEwen, Dentist, saving the world one cavity at a time!"

Steph: Stephanie. My best friend. Where would I be without you? Well probably I'd be a bit more

sane! 3 years crammed with so many memories I don't even know where to begin! Rainbows

pretty much sums up year 11! Thank you so much for everything. Your hugs make everything

alright again, the late night texts, the many many inside jokes! Your sexy bum, all your flab,

creeping people out with our staring! You are one amazing girl and I hope you know that. You

deserve more than the very best. You're the most dedicated, determined person I know, and I know that you will continue to prove to yourself that you can do it. Get out there and go to

worlds. If anyone can do it, its you. The past few weeks have meant to much to me. Knowing I

have you right by my side while everything turns "the right way up" as you put it, has been the

thing that's given me the courage to change my life. I envy your confidence, but i think some of

it might be rubbing off on me! A couple of months ago I never would have been able to tell you

some of the things that have been going through my head! But maybe that's God? Good luck out

there in the big wide world, but remember that I'll always be there whether you need me or not.

Love you so so much my gorgeous fatty xoxox

Right I think that will do! I need to go find tissues now!!! Love you all so much, and all the very best for the future! xoxox

You were my best friend

I could tell you everything

There were things I didn't need to tell you because you knew it already

I would give anything to talk to you on the phone tonight.

This last week has been really hard

But I know you're busy, so I won't ask

I wont even text

But I wish you would offer to be first

And maybe i could have my friend back?

Not necessarily my best friend because I'm not sure where she's gone, but just a good friend

I didn't think writing that would make me cry...

"God loves you. He desires to have a living relationship with you and give you salvation, purpose and eternal life. It is an important decision that only you can make, but you still need to make it!

"1. You have a past...

2. Sin has its price...

3. Christ paid for your sin...

4. You must believe...

"If you'd like to begin a personal relationship with Jesus today, please pray this prayer."

If I do this, its huge. And if I don't do this, well thats huge too because i'm already on the way.

Its like turning back after you've already tramped all the way up to Blue Range hut.
A long hard walk for hours but there's a view at the hut and you know you're not far from the top

and once you're at the top, its a relatively gentle walk to Cow creek hut where you can relax

(plus or minus a few blisters along the way)

If I don't do this and I'm wrong, its bigger than anything i could imagine.

If I do, then its going to change my life forever. Every relationship I have will have a different spin on it