Deja Vu

Why does it always have to be convenient to you to talk? Why can't it be that you put aside your crap for 5 minutes to listen to me cry? It's always the other way around unless you're having a great day and remember to ask me how mine is.

I want your advice
I want to laugh with you
I want to cry with you

I honestly didn't think it would be this hard and I wish you never left. It seems like an eternity. Not being able to talk reminds me of last year. So much. And I hate it

Ugh. I don't know if i can wait until next friday

just another memory

It hurts so much
To see pictures of you having a ball
Every photo I have with you
is a memory from when we were all together
Now all your photos
have you with your new friends
with your other best friends
It actually makes me cry.
Writing this is making me cry
I know there are only 20 days
until we can make more memories together
but for now
every photo of you i see,
reminds me that you are not here
every photo of you i see
is another memory that i can't share with you
I didn't know it would be this hard
we promised each other it would be April at the most
we promised to write
but you've lost the letter you're writing
I miss you so much
I don't know how to deal with it
i'm so scared to lose you
We promised that we would never lose each other
but we promised April
and now its May
I don't like being selfish
I don't like being jealous
but I hate it that sometimes all I feel like I am
is just a memory of the past

I hate feeling like this. I hate feeling like a selfish bitch. It's not my fault, I just want someone to care for once.
I can't talk to you because you're 6 hours away. I can't tell you stuff that matters because you don't fully seem to get how much it hurts.
I don't know if you were telling the truth today. I don't like Marcus. He makes you happy and that hurts like hell. But i don't know if he's a very good influence on you.
It hurts when i'm texting you and you let him steal your phone. Then you don't tell me that its him not you. Luckily I can tell. Most of the time.
I don't wanna pour my heart out to some random that I've never met. I wanna pour my heart out to my best friend
I want to tell you i'm coming to visit so much... but i won't because i know you'll love the surprise. I just wish it wasn't so hard

Hello again Blog

You say that you're here for me

but you always have to go

You say that you wanna hang out

but something always comes up

You say that you can't because you're so busy

but you find the time to hang with everyone else

You say that what I say wont change anything

but now i feel awkward

It's not my fault that I don't know what I want.

I wish I did.

I wish it was as easy for me as it was for you.

But this will change my whole life forever

I don't know if I'm ready to make that change yet.

It's not my fault I can only talk to you about it to a certain extent

I need to share this with her too.

I feel like such a hypocrite,

changing my mind like this

and I hate feeling like you think that of me too