Wednesday, February 29, 2012

" And I remember more than ever, we didn’t have to fight to be together. We use to hang around grooving to a different sound but things have changed"

Why can't we just change with them? We don't have to be the same. But we can grow with the change
really could do with having mum here right now. I want a hug goodnight before i go to bed, telling me that it'll be ok. Instead i get to clean the kitchen and yell and the cat and try and clean my room before setting my alarm for 7 am to do it all over again
I don't know what to say any more. I've yelled before. I cried today. I want to be able to have an opinion without being shot down. More than anything I just want it to be understood how that made me feel

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

It just suddenly hit me. Next week I properly start uni. I have lectures everyday except wednesday. 3 Hours of my day is spent commuting to and from uni. An hour of that is walking up/down a hill. I have an essay to write due in 5 weeks about what Homo florensienis is. I barely know anyone at uni and i've just remembered how scary making new friends is. I'm so nervous its insane. It has finally hit me. All the information and powerpoints for the lectures are pretty much already online. Its suddenly become real and its kinda freaking me out. I keep getting lost but i'm slowly working it out. I need to buy a lab coat. Either $55 from uni, or one off trademe. I think option b is probably going to work out better
I just want you to know how much that hurt, and for you to apologise for going about it the way that you did.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

i care more than you will ever know. But right now i'm struggling to see how we got this far

Monday, February 20, 2012

Is there anyone that fails
Is there anyone that falls
Am I the only one in church today feelin' so small

Cause when I take a look around
Everybody seems so strong
I know they'll soon discover
That I don't belong


So I tuck it all away, like everything's okay
If I make them all believe it, maybe I'll believe it too
So with a painted grin, I play the part again
So everyone will see me the way that I see them


Are we happy plastic people
Under shiny plastic steeples
With walls around our weakness
And smiles to hide our pain
But if the invitation's open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain
On our stained glass masquerade

Is there anyone who's been there
Are there any hands to raise
Am I the only one who's traded
In the altar for a stage

The performance is convincing
And we know every line by heart
Only when no one is watching
Can we really fall apart

But would it set me free
If I dared to let you see
The truth behind the person
That you imagine me to be

Would your arms be open
Or would you walk away
Would the love of Jesus
Be enough to make you stay