Life

I wish I could understand my head, so that I can deal with this better. So that i can tell you about it. I don't really fancy rocking up to your house and being like "hey you know that thing you suggested? well I think it might be back." But i really want to talk to you. I'm scared it will never go away. I don't know what causes it, i just know every now and again it comes racing back into my life. I'm scared of what you'll say, I'm scared of what you'll think. I don't know how to even approach the subject. I know its asking way too much, or maybe its not, but i just want you to take one look at me and go "oh my gosh, talk to me" and for you to listen with the capacity that i have to listen. i know i'm not normal, being able to listen like i do, but i can't talk to myself. Then it would just be another mental illness to add to the list. Please help me