~We expect teachers to handle teenage pregnancy, substance abuse, and the failings of the family. Then we expect them to educate our children. ~

Just been reading back over my blogs and i realised that i could have used today as the opportunity to "hug-a-ginga" to thank you for what you've done.

I know its kinda weird that i write about you on here but its coz you have such a massive impact on my life.

Spending all of year 9 and 10 in the acccelerate class, meant that i didnt have the chance to prove to myself and my teachers that i was just as good as everyone else in the class. Amy was always getting he best results. The popular group was always being picked to do the cool things. For one of the open days, we went to a science class room and helped the year 8s with little experiments as they came around with their parents. There was dry ice and face skeletons and other chemicals. I wanted to help out with the dry ice for the night, but no, the loud, popular people got picked to do that. i just got to supervise kids with a bendy piece of wire and a circle piece of wire which beeped if they touched and they had to follow the path of the bendy wire (like operation) . Cool huh? Not. What a load of crap.

I knew that i was better than average, but being put in that class for at least 4 hours a day, meant that i was comparing myself against people who were even smarter than me. It sucked.

When i won that prize at the NIWA science fair, i was so happy. I had finally proved to everyone that i was good too. It was short lived.

It wasn't until year 11, when the class was split up into mainstream classes again that i was finally able to realise that i actually enjoyed science. When i enjoy something, i tend to do way better in it. Having such an awesome teacher had a massive impact on the decisions i have made, but i'm glad, you know? If it wasnt for you, then god knows where i would be. This time two years ago, i wanted to be a director. how crap is that? I cant even take good photos let alone direct a whole frciken movie.

i've always wanted to be a teacher. Ever since primary school i knew thats what i wanted. What i wanted to teach has changed over the years. I wanted to be a kindy simming teacher for a while there. Just so i could help kids dive for the coloured sticks. Then mum told me that i actually needed to be a good swimmer so i scratched that idea. then i thought maybe just regular old kindy . Until i helped at my cousins kindy. Two four hour sessions was enough to drive me insane. Then i though maybe like, older primary school kids. I never thought i would want to teach secondary school kids. I mean, we're a bunch a little shits really. I admire the teachers who put up with us. But knowing how much of an influence my great teachers have had on me, it makes me want to be able to influence people like that too.

I can remember every single one of my teachers names. - except kindy. You dont have to read the list if you dont want to guys haha

Ms Oliver was my new entrants teacher,
Miss Still and Mrs McGuiness were combined teachers for both year one and two
Miss wilson was my year 3 and half of year 4 teacher
Mrs Raxworthy was my first teacher at silverstream
Ms McKay was my year 5 teacher
Mrs Maitland was my year 6 teacher
Mr webb was year 7
Miss Collins was year 8
Miss savage, mr potts (ew), ms liu, mrs cook, mis udy, mr schaefer, mr jamieson, miss hartley-smith, ms boyvich, and mr hurd for year 9
mrs joon, mrs chalmers, mr becket, mrs maiava, mr schaefer, mr curry and ms williamson for year 10
Miss Brown, ms taylor, mr wooding/mr papa, ms yurokova, mr hurd, and mr green for year 11
And now Miss Brown, mr gurney, mr potts (ew) mr green, mr curry, and miss laing

Out of my primary school teachers, i reckon miss still and mrs mcguiness were the most memorable. Mr webb and miss collins were both pretty awesome - oh crap i forgot all the other teachers from fergy- mr cosslett was awesome.
Year nine, id say miss savage and mrs cook were the best
year ten would have to be mrs maiava and mr curry (yeah yeah i know) would be the most influential
Last year would definitley be miss brown and ms taylor. Ooh better not forget mr hurd!
And this year, so far would be miss brown, ms laing and mr gurney.

I dont really know what the point of that was but it makes me feel better.

I guess what im trying to say is that, i really had no idea what i wanted to do unti i was given the chance to prove that i was good at science, and i actually enjoyed it. Getting the best results in science last year gave me the confidence to ask for extra help. I could see all the hard work miss brown was puting in and i knew that i had to show that she wasnt doing it for no reason.

I'm sure ive written this before but "teaching is the profession that teaches all other professions"

I love that feeling that you get when you explain something to someone and they understand it. It makes you feel like youve made a difference. I love it how im gaining more confidence to think outside the square, i think thats what is helping me get good results.

I know theres a few people out there who have just laughed at me when ive told them i want to be a secondary school science teacher. But I know that i can come up with easy ways to explain things to people. And different ways to explain things if they dont understand it the first time.

I just realised that one of the first people who said to me that i would do a great job, no longer has anything to do with me..

Although im quite pleased mum thinks that id make a good teacher, even if she thinks im nuts for wanting to teach at college.

Well on that note, i think im done for the night.

Screw you Amy, im way better than you. :)

And thanks to my first real pupil :) Its not my fault im short!


Night all xx

Well its been a couple of days since i've written on here.

It's been a good few days.

"the pole saved me!"

"i like things hard"

"I think jess is just in a bad mood." - "Na, miss, shes just upset coz i havent asked her to the ball yet!"

plus many others that i can't remember

I quite enjoyed writing about things from my day but i can't actually remember much else from the past few days.

Its come back again. Rangers always does this to me. I'm so stressed right now it's not even funny. Theres only 50 more days to go until i leave for Finland. Not long huh? I'd be more excited if i wasn't freaking out.

Miss B accidentaly told me to withdraw from the wrong standard :S Hopefully Ms VM won't be too shitty about it. It wasnt my fault after all.

Mr G reckons i'll be fine missing out on half of the work and i'll catch up easy enough for maths.

Ms L doesn't even know what we are doing while i'm away which is know use.

Mr P is useless so i'll just have to fluke my way through english.

I havent spoken to the other Mr G yet .. should do that tomorrow really

And as for Mr C, well he reckons i'm gonna be spending every waking moment on the net talking to the class about the work that we are doing on google apps.

This ski trip for rangers is driving me insane. Dad reckons i should just ditch the whole thing. I'm thinking maybe he's right. Maybe i'll use my trip for my special activity and just organise this as a side thing. Maybe that will take the pressure off. R just has no idea how much work i'm doing at home for school, let alone for rangers and the ski trip.

I don't know how much longer i can take this.. I just want to cry..

I'm tempted just to see how far i can push it, just to show those people who think i'm fine, that actually, i'm not.

And just so you guys know, i'm not turning into our other little friend.

But seriously, theres a few people out there who have no idea that i'm struggling to keep myself together...

Maybe if i stress out too much, it will all just go away? Pfft yeah right

Again. I had a dream about you again. Its quite scary really. I don't know what to think anymore. I don't like you like that, that would be weird. But its kind of worrying me.

OMG.. Its come back. The stress that i had at the start of the year has come back to haunt me.

I'm so confused in bio at the moment. Although eco is worse

I need to spend HOURS studying but i just don't have time. Think i will clean my room tomorrow. Maybe that way i can actually find my desk under that pile of clothes

-----------------

Dont walk away from me
Im not that kind that likes to be put down
Dont leave me standing here
Im not the kind that likes to be the clown in the rain for the world who must sing

Without you my lifes gonna be forever Tuesday morning (x2)

Im so alone inside I havent got the guts to go away
The world is wicked and Im just to weak to ever want to
Pray for the best but prepare for the rest

Without you my lifes gonna be forever Tuesday morning (x4)

Forever Tuesday

Id give up everything I owned for you
Id have a piece of nothing pie
Id wait alone here for that rendez-vous
If only I was not so lonely
If only I was not so homely
If only I was not so lost within you

Without you my lifes gonna be forever Tuesday morning
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Hast Du etwas Zeit für mich Dann singe ich ein Lied fuer Dich Von 99 Luftballons Auf ihrem Weg zum Horizont Denkst Du vielleicht grad' an mich Dann singe ich ein Lied fuer Dich Von 99 Luftballons Und dass sowas von sowas kommt	You and I in a little toy shop Buy a bag of balloons with the money we've got. Set them free at the break of dawn 'Til one by one, they were gone. Back at base, bugs in the software Flash the message, Something's out there. Floating in the summer sky. 99 red balloons go by.
99 Luftballons Auf ihrem Weg zum Horizont Hielt man fuer UFOs aus dem All Darum schickte ein General Eine Fliegerstaffel hinterher Alarm zu geben, wenn es so war Dabei war da am Horizont Nur 99 Luftballons	99 red balloons. floating in the summer sky. Panic bells, it's red alert. There's something here from somewhere else. The war machine springs to life. Opens up one eager eye. Focusing it on the sky. Where 99 red balloons go by.
99 Duesenjaeger Jeder war ein grosser Krieger Hielten sich fuer Captain Kirk Das gab ein grosses Feuerwerk Die Nachbarn haben nichts gerafft Und fuehlten sich gleich angemacht Dabei schoss man am Horizont Auf 99 Luftballons	99 Decision Street. 99 ministers meet. To worry, worry, super-scurry. Call the troops out in a hurry. This is what we've waited for. This is it boys, this is war. The president is on the line As 99 red balloons go by.
99 Kriegsminister Streichholz und Benzinkanister Hielten sich fuer schlaue Leute Witterten schon fette Beute Riefen: Krieg und wollten Macht Mann, wer haette das gedacht Dass es einmal soweit kommt Wegen 99 Luftballons	99 Knights of the air Ride super-high-tech jet fighters Everyone's a superhero. Everyone's a Captain Kirk. With orders to identify. To clarify and classify. Scramble in the summer sky. As 99 red balloons go by.
99 Jahre Krieg Liessen keinen Platz fuer Sieger Kriegsminister gibt es nicht mehr Und auch keine Duesenflieger Heute zieh ich meine Runden Seh die Welt in Truemmern liegen Hab' nen Luftballon gefunden Denk' an Dich und lass' ihn fliegen	99 dreams I have had. In every one a red balloon. It's all over and I'm standing pretty. In this dust that was a city. If I could find a souvenier. Just to prove the world was here. And here is a red balloon I think of you and let it go.

"for the most part teachers don't teach anything, they only inspire students to teach themselves. I think having fun is the most important part of learning something"

Well said :)

we can't rewind we've gone to far ... Oh-a-aho oh,

Ugh.. Today was quite crap really.

I think i'm gonna have to start doing some intense revision...

Computing was ok. Our assessment is next week but its only a unit standard so it should be all good

Eco i kind of understood but i think im gonna fail that during exams

Bio was pretty funny but it frustrates me to be told that things just are. How can Glycolysis produce 2 ATP when it needs to ATP to produce the first two? What's the point in making two if there are already two? And where the hell do the first two come from? Teacher's response to my growing aggravation - "What came first? The chicken or the egg?"

Helpful Miss.

At least i passed my microscopes test. Three credits :)

Maths was easy. Circle graphs are great. Too bad i missed out both the merit and the excellence for my stats test. All i needed to to was explicitly state the measure of spread that i used.

Work was ok.. It was pretty busy but everything sorted itself out eventually

I got free dinner and dessert and free dessert to bring home too.

Now its Saturday...

Officially two months until i leave for Finland!

And you. Why do i keep dreaming about you? Its confusing me!

Really need to go to bed now. Its going to take me long enough to get to sleep as it is

See you see you later, its time for us to end. See you see you later, i'll be back again. Ka kete, see you later, good bye my friend

my stomach feels like a contractile vacuole ... not a good thing