I don't know what I wan to do now. I'm starting to wonder if I ever actually enjoying science at school or if it was just the teaching style i liked. I don't know anymore.

Argh. Why do I always end up thinking about everything all at once? Trust me to overload on a million important things all at the same time.

I know that I know you do... and I know I should always know that... But I wish I knew for certain - completely and unwaveringly... Instead of having to convince myself each day.

I hate that you can still make me feel like you're better than me

argh! This would be so much easier if I actually had any interest in the topic.

I'm beginning to wonder if it would just be easier to have a clean cut, rather than this confusion  ofnot knowing how much I can tell you about things. I don't trust you anymore and that makes me sad, but I have other people in my life who I can trust, who aren't going to judge me for what I say, and who aren't going to get all grumpy at me every week for having a bad day once in a while. A clean cut seems like it would be so much easier, but it wouldn't happen because I'd still see you every week :/

Owl City - Vanilla Twilight

The stars lean down to kiss you
And I lie awake and miss you
Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere

'Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly
But I'll miss your arms around me
I'd send a postcard to you, dear
'Cause I wish you were here

I'll watch the night turn light-blue
But it's not the same without you
Because it takes two to whisper quietly

The silence isn't so bad
'Til I look at my hands and feel sad
'Cause the spaces between my fingers
Are right where yours fit perfectly

I'll find repose in new ways
Though I haven't slept in two days
'Cause cold nostalgia
Chills me to the bone

But drenched in vanilla twilight
I'll sit on the front porch all night
Waist-deep in thought because
When I think of you I don't feel so alone

I don't feel so alone, I don't feel so alone

As many times as I blink
I'll think of you tonight
I'll think of you tonight

When violet eyes get brighter
And heavy wings grow lighter
I'll taste the sky and feel alive again

And I'll forget the world that I knew
But I swear I won't forget you
Oh, if my voice could reach
Back through the past
I'd whisper in your ear
Oh darling, I wish you were here