Nothing else compares

Why is i that i have to work so hard for you to be happy? No one else cares that i didnt get an excellence. They were all just pleased that i got the highest mark in my class which was my plan.

It is so fricken hard to try and be as good as amy and so far ive managed to not only get an excellence in chemisty but a merit in bio which was higher than her.

But no.. Its not good enough. I barely even got a congratulations. All you said to me was "oh so you dont know what you got after you resubmitted it?"

Now youre in a shit coz i didnt take chocolate to school. Well i thought you would be happy knowing that i risked being late to bio (not the best class to be late to, if you knew Miss Brown, which you dont coz your in too much of a shit and i dont really want you coming to my interviews) to come and get the chocolates off you. I then spent the entire afternoon trying madly to sell the fucking things so that you'd be pleased and maybe you wouldnt scream at me when i got home. But no. Even though there was only like 4 peanut slabs and 4 bars of chocolate left, you stil barely said anything.

And its not my fault that laura is so crap and returning her fucking money!!!!! Its pissing me off as much as its pissing you off. I know we need money! Im not stupid. I have actually noticed that theres no food for me to eat this week. But if laura not giving her money in is annoying you so much, why dont you go and get it yourself? You know where she lives now.

why dont you just try and ask me how im feeling? I wish you and dad would stop fighting. You have no idea how hard it is for me to sit there and listen to yelling and swearing.

Leave no stone unturned and leave your fears behind

Urgh, That really annoys me.. I worked so hard on that report and i failed it. It doesnt really give me much confidence for the actual thing which has to be done on thursday.

Everything is moving so fast.. Year 11 was easy. Things just were..

Does a title really matter?

School: an institution where instruction is given, esp. to persons under college age
or
They force you to do useless work while they also expect you to put up with peer pressure,your home life and social life. A place where young, innocent, defencless children are kept prisoner and forced to learn useless stuff like algebra that won't count for fuck when they're old enough to get employed....

Thats more like it.

At the moment anyway...

I usually look forward to school. It gets me out of the house. I get to see my friends. I love learning new things (so long as i can see a point).

Today i just felt like crap all day. Chem was average. Everything else just made me want to cry.

I have such a massive amount of homework that i barely have time to breathe. On top of that, i have work and duke of ed and now i have been voted unit secretary.... GRRRRRR

The rest of my week will consist of : Homework, school. Thursday - school, homework... Friday.. school, work.. Saturday and sunday - pointless tramp where there isnt even a fricken track to follow.

Oooh and then guess what? I have school and homework on monday again! I havent had a weekend in weeks. As much as i love bio and chem, i would love them even more if they just slowed down a little bit.

Sunshine a. The light or the direct rays from the sun. b. The warmth given by the sun's rays. c. A location or surface on which the sun's rays fall

Isn't it amazing how people interpret things in different ways?

All i wanted to do was help you but you wouldnt let me in. I dont know how i can help you anymore because i dont know what is the truth and what isnt. You tell us what's happening in your life but things dont add up sometimes. If you talked to us more and let me help then maybe i would be able to trust you more.

Trust..

Thats the key to everything isnt it?

If you hate me because i told Miss Brown, i dont care. I trust her and i know you do too - at least we have that in common. I knew that she would try and understand and would try and help you too.

i know you dont want help but thats just who i am. I love knowing that i have made a difference in someone else's life. It's an amazing feeling to know that you have helped someone change for the better

Awesome Song :)

You would not believe your eyes
If ten million fireflies
Lit up the world as I fell asleep

'Cause they'd fill the open air
And leave teardrops everywhere
You'd think me rude
But I would just stand and stare

I'd like to make myself believe
That planet Earth turns slowly
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay
Awake when I'm asleep
'Cause everything is never as it seems

'Cause I'd get a thousand hugs
From ten thousand lightning bugs
As they tried to teach me how to dance

A fox trot above my head
A sock hop beneath my bed
A disco ball that's just hanging by a thread

I'd like to make myself believe
That planet Earth turns slowly
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay
Awake when I'm asleep
'Cause everything is never as it seems
When I fall asleep

Leave my door open just a crack
(Please take me away from here)
'Cause I feel like such an insomniac
(Please take me away from here)
Why do I tire of counting sheep
(Please take me away from here)
When I'm far too tired to fall asleep

To ten million fireflies
I'm weird 'cause I hate goodbyes
I got misty eyes as they said farewell

But I'll know where several are
If my dreams get real bizarre
'Cause I saved a few and I keep them in a jar

I'd like to make myself believe
That planet Earth turns slowly
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay
Awake when I'm asleep
'Cause everything is never as it seems
When I fall asleep

I'd like to make myself believe
That planet Earth turns slowly
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay
Awake when I'm asleep
'Cause everything is never as it seems
When I fall asleep

I'd like to make myself believe
That planet Earth turns slowly
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay
Awake when I'm asleep
Because my dreams are bursting at the seems

Oh what a world it would be...

Sometimes i wish that i just didn't care. I wish that i didnt care about how people felt. I wish that i could just get on with life without having to worry about what you would think. Its so hard for me to ignore it.

Victoria you drive me insane. The way you take over all the time and treat me like a five year old. It's not your responsibility to make sure that i am doing what i should be. I know exactly what i need to do to get to where i need to be. I dont need you waltzing in and taking over. You say you have other commitments but when you come back you just assume that i am doing everything wrong an start to take over again.

And as for you: where are you? You've changed so much and yet so little.