well today has been up and down...

Seminar is over. I passed :)

Went to have a catch up with the most patient teacher in the world
I got to talk about school and my marks to someone who knew me and how i cope with things

I had someone to reassure me that it would be ok.

Thank you. You will never know how much that means to me, and i think im going to have to come back to visit next year. You're better than any counsellor. I could actually feel the weight lifting off me.

The rest of my afternoon was also good. I got to have a nice vent to another really good listener.

I was able to talk about everything without having to worry if i'd offend.

I got to talk about things that have been on my mind for months and months

Things that i've been told by my best friends that i havent been able to forget

Like "as much as i dont want to say this to you, yes i believe that because you don't believe in god, you will go to hell"

and being told that "its not about the people and the music and the events, its about giving your life up for god, and if you're not ready to do that then maybe religion isn't for you"

Both of which hurt more than anything but i haven't been able to talk about them because the topics are too sensitive to talk about with people close to me.

Being told that actually yes, thats exactly what its all about made me feel better about everything

Telling you about the other thing that has been suggested to me, was a lot easier than i would have thought. i wasn't going to tell you but it just sort of fit in with everything else, so thank you for that. It means so much to me