So God, it looks like we meet again...
Thank you for the courage to ask for a pay rise. For the first time, I actually felt like you weren't leaving me out on my own. Made a nice end to the day after being told to F off by my boss...

Please help me. I don't know how much longer I can do this on my own. I hate being her. I hate snapping at my friends. I hate feeling like things are a million times worse than they actually are. I hate crying over stupid things. I never used to be like this. I don't want to be like this. I want to be able to talk half as much as I listen and not risk ruining something if I'm honest about my feelings. I have a gift to listen. I get that. I just wish that I could talk without saying the wrong thing. Or that I could talk to my best friends without them criticising my honest opinion.
I don't want to lose my friends because of this, God. I've already come so close, so many times. I can't lose them.
I can' do this without you, but i don't know how to find you.

I'm sorry that I keep stuffing things up. Please help me to know what to do

Amen